Broken

On a bad day, as an anxious person I look around sussing out my surroundings. On occasion a person looks back and senses my social and general pain. In that moment I inside beg they don’t ask me ‘if I’m ok’ as I know I will break down if spoken too. I pray they let me be, just nod or squeeze my hand.

It’s confusing and complex how one moment I want someone to listen and understand my pain, and the next I want to be invisible and ignored. At these times my thoughts are against me.

Broken

If you notice how I feel

Please don’t go ahead and ask

As my tears will start to surface

And wash away my mask

You stare in to my eyes

To notice I’m not blinking

Please keep my aching secret

That inside my heart is sinking

I will just get through this moment

Squeeze my hand, but keep my lie

My strength will suppress my tears

Only alone will I break and cry