Don’t look back

This work is starting to feel Jaded
Beginning to Feel like rambling
Enthusiasm has slowly faded
Write anything like I’m gambling

My mind confuses like a swarm
I Want to curl up in a cave
Light a fire to stay warm
Be cradled in the arms of babes

I feel I’ve been misread
That my heart is slightly tainted
Because my mind tells the story
Of the words my hand has painted

My verse became my heart
And inspiration made it dance
It wrote in complex forms of love
A tragic hooker of romance

My focus took a different path
Of an outlet or relief
For the guilt and shame I felt
Through times of mental grief

It took a sort of troubled shape
Transformed from light to dark
The reality is quite reversed
I’m a devoted romantic at heart.

Get Back

Look forward
As the past will haunt you
If you turn around
The shadows will taunt you

Dont surrender
The Devil will flaunt you
Dont believe
That noone will want you

If you were a ghost
People would see through
Your unique personality
Cold would be the only clue

Live with acceptance
Any thought can be tolerated
Step out of the dark
Life is underrated

Purgatory

Light to dark
I will wait
Until I hear you hark
And seal my fate

Confines the shadow
Expresses the grin
Hides the halo
And the demon within

Once I was good
Turned white into black
I know that I should
But I’ll never go back.

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Night Creepers

At night I crawl,
Spread out and creep,
Forever awake
Barely ever asleep

They are open
The pathways of my eyes,
But I’m not listening
It’s a familiar disguise

The panic is suppressed
And the mask starts to shake,
Again it’s exhausting
Forever awake

I don’t need understanding
I don’t need belief
What I need from my thinking
Is some truth and relief

It’s a lifelong phase
To live mentally ill
To you its invisible
To me it’s fucking real.

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And repeat..

… I cannot sleep,
I over think,
My mind switches on
Tunes in
To endless channels
Of riddles and junk.
I’m not the only one
Just one of many,
Who wake in the dark
Sleep never,
And lyes thinking up myths
Instead of staring at truths.
I hear nothing
And hear all,
Seeing shapes and shadows,
Forming stories
That won’t exist forever.
I’ll sleep tomorrow night
It’ll be different then,
And if I can’t,
I shall speak with you again.

Laughing in the dark

Lean on me
When the cold casts a shadow
On the soul,
The dark transferring to the mind
As a ghost
Swallowing life and blinding
Eyes of colour,
I will guide you towards the light,
When time seems too long
To see and walk
Through the psychological storm
And tears leave scars
Unseen to others,
I will hold your hand
Drag you towards the sun,
Though if your weight bares to strong
I shall stay,
And the Demons shall hear us
Laughing in the dark.

Tormented

What do you do
With a blanket of needs
Dying in front of you,
When communication has stopped,
The mind has collapsed,
And the addict scars
Grow from the inside
Swallowing the entire family whole,
Silence is worry
Conversation is pain
Though we carry on
And proceed with the fairytale,
Because if there’s breath
There’s a chance,
Or so we kid ourselves to think,
The truth is the edge becomes closer
With every anxious blink,
Each second the heart fails
Adds to the deathly nails,
And Laying calmly in wait
The coffin of addiction,

The final chapter enters insanity,
Awoken voices
Guides the mind
Onto the path of enlightenment,
Passing destruction and horror
Along the way,
The soul reaches the door of salvation
Save yourself, save all,
Close your eyes and walk towards,
One last chance of redemption
Make peace and fly,
Lay back and Wash away the guilt
Slowly as you die,
This ending offers no twist
No saviour to speak of,
Only a paragraph of truth
And reality
Which helps love ones to share,
That finially pulls the curtain
On this story called despair.

Flight

Flight

Escape not from this room
You knew this
You knew impending doom
Not apparent bliss.

No chance to escape
Fight or flee
Your autonomy raped
It’s not different, you see

I will squeeze for life
Control the blood
Distract the mind
Search for love

Pain rather than avoidance
Hope better than death
Control is in the thought
Fear is in the breath

Antidote

Run run run away
The thread is wearing thin
Escape escape escape this place
No one knows where you’ve been

Flee flee flee this cave
Don’t know what you might find
Help help help yourself
Take possession of your mind

Change change change direction
Squeeze the blood out From your hand
Free free free the poison
Maybe now you’ll understand

The Show Must Go On

The Show Must Go On

He will try to convince you
To do the merry dance,
The joker,
Pretending to be your friend,
His Manic laughter
Promising happily ever after.
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jesters hat,
Go away you insidious monster
You mock yourself with that,
One, two, the fools on you
I see your game
Suffocating my lungs
Crushing my heart,
Whispering my name.
Bloody depression…