Night Creepers

At night I crawl,
Spread out and creep,
Forever awake
Barely ever asleep

They are open
The pathways of my eyes,
But I’m not listening
It’s a familiar disguise

The panic is suppressed
And the mask starts to shake,
Again it’s exhausting
Forever awake

I don’t need understanding
I don’t need belief
What I need from my thinking
Is some truth and relief

It’s a lifelong phase
To live mentally ill
To you its invisible
To me it’s fucking real.

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And repeat..

… I cannot sleep,
I over think,
My mind switches on
Tunes in
To endless channels
Of riddles and junk.
I’m not the only one
Just one of many,
Who wake in the dark
Sleep never,
And lyes thinking up myths
Instead of staring at truths.
I hear nothing
And hear all,
Seeing shapes and shadows,
Forming stories
That won’t exist forever.
I’ll sleep tomorrow night
It’ll be different then,
And if I can’t,
I shall speak with you again.

Laughing in the dark

Lean on me
When the cold casts a shadow
On the soul,
The dark transferring to the mind
As a ghost
Swallowing life and blinding
Eyes of colour,
I will guide you towards the light,
When time seems too long
To see and walk
Through the psychological storm
And tears leave scars
Unseen to others,
I will hold your hand
Drag you towards the sun,
Though if your weight bares to strong
I shall stay,
And the Demons shall hear us
Laughing in the dark.

Tormented

What do you do
With a blanket of needs
Dying in front of you,
When communication has stopped,
The mind has collapsed,
And the addict scars
Grow from the inside
Swallowing the entire family whole,
Silence is worry
Conversation is pain
Though we carry on
And proceed with the fairytale,
Because if there’s breath
There’s a chance,
Or so we kid ourselves to think,
The truth is the edge becomes closer
With every anxious blink,
Each second the heart fails
Adds to the deathly nails,
And Laying calmly in wait
The coffin of addiction,

The final chapter enters insanity,
Awoken voices
Guides the mind
Onto the path of enlightenment,
Passing destruction and horror
Along the way,
The soul reaches the door of salvation
Save yourself, save all,
Close your eyes and walk towards,
One last chance of redemption
Make peace and fly,
Lay back and Wash away the guilt
Slowly as you die,
This ending offers no twist
No saviour to speak of,
Only a paragraph of truth
And reality
Which helps love ones to share,
That finially pulls the curtain
On this story called despair.

Flight

Flight

Escape not from this room
You knew this
You knew impending doom
Not apparent bliss.

No chance to escape
Fight or flee
Your autonomy raped
It’s not different, you see

I will squeeze for life
Control the blood
Distract the mind
Search for love

Pain rather than avoidance
Hope better than death
Control is in the thought
Fear is in the breath

Antidote

Run run run away
The thread is wearing thin
Escape escape escape this place
No one knows where you’ve been

Flee flee flee this cave
Don’t know what you might find
Help help help yourself
Take possession of your mind

Change change change direction
Squeeze the blood out From your hand
Free free free the poison
Maybe now you’ll understand

The Show Must Go On

The Show Must Go On

He will try to convince you
To do the merry dance,
The joker,
Pretending to be your friend,
His Manic laughter
Promising happily ever after.
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jesters hat,
Go away you insidious monster
You mock yourself with that,
One, two, the fools on you
I see your game
Suffocating my lungs
Crushing my heart,
Whispering my name.
Bloody depression…

Shouting at the rain

Empty spaces filled with souls
Risen by false pretences
Offering shelter to the storm.
Worrying minds the most vulnerable
Of all catastrophes,
Affecting visionaries with regret,
The brave shrunk down
To shadows of cowardice.
When will we realise
To ignore the whispering talk
Expressed by deemed prophecies of hell
Who live to shorten life.
Thunder has rumbled
The inner soul for too long,
Time has come
To bathe and cleanse internal scars,
Dry our spirit from the rain
Hang our skin out to burn,
Because If we follow ourselves towards oblivion
Only darkness will return.

Summary

First thoughts I dispense with caution

Notion with an ironic flaw

A split second occurrence

With no stage for reflection

Containing irrational undertones

Speed ‘Becomes’ essence

Dismay is uncontrolled

Outlines feasible complications Conversation is to-be heeded

True words believed, transpired with time

Character prevails via choices

Shaped by unrushed competence

Instant verbs evolve and mature

Sharp decisions cease to race

Knowledgeable peace combines

Sheds light on existence

Judgement swallowed by reality

Being misconceived becomes scarce

Harmony elected with a mutual dignity.

Changes

The mind is adept at its own pretence
When a foreseeable ending claws at its sense
Rapid spate of change is hard to allow
Crystal clear thoughts deviate from the brow
An uncontrolled destined moment in time
Perspectives of honesty bring up the divine
Amnesiac spaces previous and after
Brings the transition not nearer nor faster

Change sparks defence to raise fully clad
Denial, like a sane man humouring the mad
A rapid such ending wretches the soul
Pulls what we possess to never let go
Our sleepless gut instinct repulses the last
Repelling an echo of struggles near past
For even the efficient an ending feels strange
A limbo state not desiring to change

An unconscious unknown steadily beckons
Lifetime of intake, although its just seconds
Confusion is ripe though doesn’t persist
Without endings your presence wouldn’t exist
On ponder a moment which presents a choice
An alternate view to retain a lost voice
Reflect to proceed, an perceptive mind wins
Determine an ending, is where a new first begins.