I think I’m alone
Even when gathered in a herd
I’m afraid my spirit has flown
I never hear a word
Even though I speak
My voice doesn’t leave
And the cries for help
Evaporate when I breathe
I crave for any attention
A positive or negative poke
Just someone to react
To pretend as if I spoke
Not looking for a fake smile
Or for a touch of a hand
Just a genuine shoulder
I hope you understand.
Save myself by creating heartbreak
Ending affection for ending sake
Not personal, a quick draw decision
Wouldn’t of lasted, said my premonition
Of a close soul breaking my heart
To escape I quickly force it apart
Convinced my dark vision is true
Before it’s me I’ll end it with you
Romance is dead but the pain lives
Couldn’t control the doubt love gives,
living life with stop and starts
Short lived dates and broken hearts
The one set loose will find a match
To with feelings, there is no catch
No pits of empty days or sorrow
No happy one day, down tomorrow
By then the jealously creeps to bite
Thinking about them close at night
With an anxious mind it’s hard to confide
The insecurity locked inside
Can’t commit to time or to lust
Defences are high in the aspect of trust
Testing to see who will try and return
Loneliness the only lesson to learn
Always looking for that one salvation
Who saves me from my false self-preservation.
Intrusive —
Once writing this would’ve crippled me
I mean the thought of it would
The idea of tempting fate, Wow
Knowing now I can, and always could
Best to face the beast head on
No more living in the depths of life
No more invisibly leashed, being led on
No more stabbed with a thought provoked knife
Physical fights and words scare me
But mostly it’s my compulsive thoughts
Ninety nine percent mean nothing at all
But that’s the ones I fought
Now I can write the words, talk the talk
Push back false hope from my head
Still knowing it’s a fine line I walk
For now the darkness has been put to bed.
Take a moment
To catch a breath
Its complicated to imagine
The thoughts swirling in-depth
To normal, the lines are straight
For others mind is twisted
Most eyes see clean and clear
But in darkness sight is squinted
Sit straight as the tale is tall and true
And receivers do feel manipulated
For belief these disorders are real
Makes for uncomfortable and complicated
Concentration shuts off
The expression turns blank
No effort to understand
The eyes have rolled and sank
The Stories are true
No need for exaggeration
Many souls are lost
To their own imagination
I turn and I flee, flee to be free
Looking back to the sky I do pray
But running comes natural to me
Panic makes me scared
Fear aches my skin
Breathing nostrils flared
Escaping not a sin
I pray I wont hide
But courage runs through me
Quick enough to collide.
We have to unlearn
To be a Burden,
Release the frustrated
Of feeling hated.
We try and we try
To live and not die,
But it’s so hard
To kick start
The energy and will
To swallow the pill
To be able to see straight
And let go of the hate.
I look in the reflection
And see no direction,
Just roads of chaos
Leading to being lost.
I know, and I feel
One day I will heal
Until then I shall not hide
And Choose to stay inside
Where comfort lies in place
And I never show my face.
I will go forth to live
Allow myself to forgive
All the invisible thoughts
That cut my life short,
Yes I shall stand
Drop the knife from hand
Pull up out of the bath
Smile and laugh,
You know I could
In fact I know I should,
If only I wasnt dead
And the water wasnt red,
And my thoughts wasnt fate
Telling me im too late,
I never learn
Im still a burden
My family will find me
Open the door and see
My body, or what’s left,
See I’m still out of place, even in death.
I think I’m too afraid,
But I know,
If I don’t soon, I will fade,
Eventually, I will let go
Even If I fail, I will try
No more will I hide,
If I unsuccessfully die,
At least I have tried
Let me go if I’m cold,
Eyes shut never blinking,
I was never meant to grow old,
Dont question my thinking
And Dont blame the view
I just like the sea
And I dont blame you,
It’s all on me
We bleed because we need too. Release our thoughts, tensions and anxieties to the world, to resolve and find some balance.
Whose knows the answer to an unhappy species, which inhales the toxic spouting of leaders through open straws of lies.
Virus spreads but manipulation and greed stand immortal and immune to human suffering. In fact it thrives to the extent of watching the vermin argue amongst themselves, defending honours of deviants and dammed.
I find peace in knowing deep inside that my conscience is clear, my mind is open, and silence is an option to stupidity.
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We are all living
We are all dying
Ask for forgiving
When the soul is flying
We can all speak
We can all be silent
Tested at our peak
When the world is violent
We can all act
We are all still
We choose to react
To help at will
We can all love
We can all hate
Cleanse the fisted glove
Before it’s too late
We can all kiss
We can all shout
Think of the effect
When we open our mouth
We can all laugh
We can all cry
Leave no wrath
When you die
We can choose wrong
We can choose right
No one belongs
In a sense of fright
We can all be kind
We can all be mean
We can all be blind
To the horrors we see
We can all be quiet
We all have a voice
We all have a chance
To make the right choice
Flight
Escape not from this room
You knew this
You knew impending doom
Not apparent bliss.
No chance to escape
Fight or flee
Your autonomy raped
It’s not different, you see
I will squeeze for life
Control the blood
Distract the mind
Search for love
Pain rather than avoidance
Hope better than death
Control is in the thought
Fear is in the breath
Chris Chant Poetry 