Substitute

Am I a substitute for real life?

a stand in to what was meant to evolve

the shadow from the light that was meant to shine,

gifted a spark at birth

and an environment which bred

life, hope and praise,

Am I a default choice from lost potentials

who could’ve inhabited the same shell,

a traitor possessing a body,

I’ve done my best as a thief of life

wasted maybe, to my mind,

Before me stands the potential light and exuberance,

below the dark and squalid,

I am a substitute for life,

One called at a time of panic and saviour,

to keep safe and hold the soul in my possession,

Though it’s not a way to live,

until the walls of comfort are broken down,

I will uphold my calling,

and keep my place in line

Attack the Attack

RUNNING

Run to the end of the world
stamp those feet to the earth
and knock back the noise
of the chaos in your ears

Distract the mind
from urgency
that showers confusion
on the walking peace

Run and don’t look back
it will just slow you down
from producing
the genocide in your mind
clearing the webs of persistence
leaving pure oxygen
and room to calm

If the focus diminishes
and the grasp of horns
clutches at your chest
causing the body to surrender
then the fear has won
don’t let it, breathe in the pain
and run

Bring me back to life

Bring me back to life

I wish I could control the horror
produced to provoke,
Trespassing behind the eyes
for the perfect time
to set chaos to the mind,
It could be beautiful,
but it chooses storm over paradise,
pale skin over veins of ice,
supporting an upside down version of freedom,
Life threaded through a knot,
a bind that can only be loosened
by floating hands,
Who wisely massage and weave,
releasing a view of the present,
of untainted truth,
the soul can finally…believe

Panic (Part two)

It’s dark
Imagination becomes a foe.
All of a sudden I crack – Snap,
Then lost in the commotion
the mind gets dense
unable to travel mentally
and my eyes are vice like shut.
Reached the pinnacle of panic
If I died now so be it – False statement
I know this can’t kill me
It just makes me stronger.
This anxiety is a passing shot
a warning with no substance
that used to never end
or that’s how it felt.
As a scene in a film
the mind zooms back to focus
back to the beginning.
Open my eyes, slowly
I’m in reality now, real time
knelt to the floor but alive.
Nod appreciation to the helpers.
The episodes are shortening
as I’m learning
to cope with the bad days.
I remind myself
I bring on the fear
I can take it away.

Panic (Part one)

The chattering begins
Hands scratch at the noises – scrape, scraping
that brings itchiness and irritants
to this controlled invasion.
A mind built of glass
cracked at the foundations.
Lucid thoughts shatter houses.
The Scattering shards produce a prickly sensation
Trespassing in the brain
leaving jagged edges
and haunted images.
I can see the ghosts of shame
walking the corridors
accusing the past.
My silent screams scare no-one.
Walls closing in
evaporating my screams
suffocating my dreams.
I surrender to the torment
lying back on protruded thorns
that pay homage to the sacrifice.
Breath diminished, colludes with the flames
causing an energy collapse
which leaves the mind broken
to a body unclaimed.