True

A poem I wrote about 15 years ago…

True

First time my heart broke
Was after we spoke
About your new friend
I knew it was the end

I was to blame
I became an old flame
But my heart still froze
When it wasn’t me you chose

I would write a letter
To make it all better
Then deliver it drunk
That’s how low I sunk

Never lost so many tears
In a space of a year
When life with a red
Was alive and then dead

Not to sound preachy
But when life seems peachy
Dont let them go
And leave your heart with a hole

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Dear Papa

Tread upon my memory
Twist the past to suit
So now I dwell in silence
And cry for help in mute.

You cannot talk for dread
Of upsetting your life of now
A coward never thinks
Just nods his head and bows

Similar in physicality
Only way that we’re the same
When people ask about me
You stutter at my name.

Deny any blood relations
Making young generations cry
When they knock the door in decades
Will you look them in the eye.

Aftermath

Addiction seems so fruitful
Mountains of highs
Valleys of lows
We fight to-and-fro
Reaching for the sky to smile
But always end up drowning
Down below in the depths.

The aftermath of addiction
Drags down the soul
Swamps joy and hope
To the point of destruction,
Sleep becomes a distant distraction,
Sweat is the choice of panic
And crying the release for help.

The hole is deep
Dug by individual hand
Which carries the burden solely
The weight of the dirt,
Mountains are far out of sight
Especially as sinking begins
And normality shrinks.
Was peaking high
Worth the aftermath
And the massacre of feelings
That follows like a shadow
For eternity.

No Love Lost

A child with sensitivity to feelings
Living with a parent with no emotion,
Is like drowning in the ocean,
Never dying.
The adult only walks the selfish direction
Widening the gap of bond and blood
Separating the connection
Between father and son,
Family home a safe haven turned toxic
By the golem who created his kingdom,
And his alone.
Willing freely to give you away,
Maybe bribe you with silver
To leave their place
So you burden them no more

Sowed the seed but not willing to feed
The emotionally hungry figure of youth,
Not because of behavioral actions
Or laziness tendencies on your part,
But through deviant selfishness
To thrive without ties of a child
Giving the responsibility of parent
To the world,
No wonder as an adolescent we feel abandoned,
Left stranded to survive
With no tools to speak of,
Its pointless to eventually seek blame
They hold no shame,
And learn nothing other to treat your babe,
Their legacy and grandchild,
The same.