Understand Me

Drowning in contempt
Sinking in a flood
Where the only saviour
Is to be just understood

As we voice our trouble
Others slowly nod in disguise
Where the reality truly shows
In the rolling of their eyes

Its feels such a wonder
When someone understands
I want to smile with them always
And hold them by the hand.

Fight to be positive
And fit your own glove
Or self will start to dwindle
Leaving no chance of love

We’ll reflect in thirty years
Of memories we’ve forgot
The laughter and the love
Before the brain started to rot

Speak of discontent
Faced with a simplistic hush
When replied with a toxic tone
The Soul starts to crush.

Don’t just want to be heard
I want to be understood together
And share a mutual binding
That brings love and hope forever.

Black sheep

One day I will say
To the very day
When I fell
Into dillusional hell

I was eight
When I started to hate
And resent
The gift I was sent

Checking my life
Hiding a knife
So I wouldn’t cause harm
By cutting my arm

Just my own reality
Inside OCD
Making me feel
Safety’s not real

Thinking I’m magic
Not a sad tragic
Whose lost his will
And mentally ill

Finally in time
I worked out my mind
Was controlled by the devil
Who finially revealed

Get Back

Look forward
As the past will haunt you
If you turn around
The shadows will taunt you

Dont surrender
The Devil will flaunt you
Dont believe
That noone will want you

If you were a ghost
People would see through
Your unique personality
Cold would be the only clue

Live with acceptance
Any thought can be tolerated
Step out of the dark
Life is underrated

Body language

I think I’m alone
Even when gathered in a herd
I’m afraid my spirit has flown
I never hear a word

Even though I speak
My voice doesn’t leave
And the cries for help
Evaporate when I breathe

I crave for any attention
A positive or negative poke
Just someone to react
To pretend as if I spoke

Not looking for a fake smile
Or for a touch of a hand
Just a genuine shoulder
I hope you understand.

Purgatory

Light to dark
I will wait
Until I hear you hark
And seal my fate

Confines the shadow
Expresses the grin
Hides the halo
And the demon within

Once I was good
Turned white into black
I know that I should
But I’ll never go back.

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True

A poem I wrote about 15 years ago…

True

First time my heart broke
Was after we spoke
About your new friend
I knew it was the end

I was to blame
I became an old flame
But my heart still froze
When it wasn’t me you chose

I would write a letter
To make it all better
Then deliver it drunk
That’s how low I sunk

Never lost so many tears
In a space of a year
When life with a red
Was alive and then dead

Not to sound preachy
But when life seems peachy
Dont let them go
And leave your heart with a hole

#poetry #poems #writers #writing #beach #mentalhealth #romance #shortstories #love #angels #relationships #depression #ocd #anxiety #grunge #gothic #motivationalquotes #isolation #verse #quickpoetry #letters #addiction #heaven #sunshine #script #music #lyrics

Set Free

Save myself by creating heartbreak
Ending affection for ending sake
Not personal, a quick draw decision
Wouldn’t of lasted, said my premonition
Of a close soul breaking my heart
To escape I quickly force it apart
Convinced my dark vision is true
Before it’s me I’ll end it with you
Romance is dead but the pain lives
Couldn’t control the doubt love gives,
living life with stop and starts
Short lived dates and broken hearts

The one set loose will find a match
To with feelings, there is no catch
No pits of empty days or sorrow
No happy one day, down tomorrow
By then the jealously creeps to bite
Thinking about them close at night
With an anxious mind it’s hard to confide
The insecurity locked inside

Can’t commit to time or to lust
Defences are high in the aspect of trust
Testing to see who will try and return
Loneliness the only lesson to learn
Always looking for that one salvation
Who saves me from my false self-preservation.

Night Creepers

At night I crawl,
Spread out and creep,
Forever awake
Barely ever asleep

They are open
The pathways of my eyes,
But I’m not listening
It’s a familiar disguise

The panic is suppressed
And the mask starts to shake,
Again it’s exhausting
Forever awake

I don’t need understanding
I don’t need belief
What I need from my thinking
Is some truth and relief

It’s a lifelong phase
To live mentally ill
To you its invisible
To me it’s fucking real.

#depression #bipolar #writers #anxiety #suicide #ocd #beach #crying #mentalhealth #poetry #poems #writing #books #grunge #gothic #darkness #vampire #death #music #lyrics #film #addiction #addict #heaven #ill #illusion #isolation #virus #blue

Gremlins

Time never exchanges
Love for lost chances,
If anything it ridicules
By circling hope
In front of distant eyes,
The world shrinks
For a searching heart,
Spiderwebs bolts of emotions
That fizz out,
Only Returning to jolt pain
Of emotions lost,

The colour red
Flows internally,
Dripping with drops of regret
Like sweat off a peach
Or blood from an open wound,
One time anxiety ruled
And life was lost
To intrusive, irrational thoughts,
History will never die
Or repeat,
It will also burden the soul no more,
Our thoughts
Will just Rejoice in the experience,
Exist in peace,
And sit as a memory
Like an outline faded in smoke.

Intrusive

Intrusive —
Once writing this would’ve crippled me
I mean the thought of it would
The idea of tempting fate, Wow
Knowing now I can, and always could

Best to face the beast head on
No more living in the depths of life
No more invisibly leashed, being led on
No more stabbed with a thought provoked knife

Physical fights and words scare me
But mostly it’s my compulsive thoughts
Ninety nine percent mean nothing at all
But that’s the ones I fought

Now I can write the words, talk the talk
Push back false hope from my head
Still knowing it’s a fine line I walk
For now the darkness has been put to bed.