Purgatory

Light to dark
I will wait
Until I hear you hark
And seal my fate

Confines the shadow
Expresses the grin
Hides the halo
And the demon within

Once I was good
Turned white into black
I know that I should
But I’ll never go back.

#writers #writing #blackandwhite #shadow #hell #intrusivethoughts #poetry #poems #disorders #portrait #photography #gothic #grunge #motivationalquotes #mentalhealth #heaven #script #music #lyrics #addict #ocd #negative #honesty #darkness #vampire #death

True

A poem I wrote about 15 years ago…

True

First time my heart broke
Was after we spoke
About your new friend
I knew it was the end

I was to blame
I became an old flame
But my heart still froze
When it wasn’t me you chose

I would write a letter
To make it all better
Then deliver it drunk
That’s how low I sunk

Never lost so many tears
In a space of a year
When life with a red
Was alive and then dead

Not to sound preachy
But when life seems peachy
Dont let them go
And leave your heart with a hole

#poetry #poems #writers #writing #beach #mentalhealth #romance #shortstories #love #angels #relationships #depression #ocd #anxiety #grunge #gothic #motivationalquotes #isolation #verse #quickpoetry #letters #addiction #heaven #sunshine #script #music #lyrics

Set Free

Save myself by creating heartbreak
Ending affection for ending sake
Not personal, a quick draw decision
Wouldn’t of lasted, said my premonition
Of a close soul breaking my heart
To escape I quickly force it apart
Convinced my dark vision is true
Before it’s me I’ll end it with you
Romance is dead but the pain lives
Couldn’t control the doubt love gives,
living life with stop and starts
Short lived dates and broken hearts

The one set loose will find a match
To with feelings, there is no catch
No pits of empty days or sorrow
No happy one day, down tomorrow
By then the jealously creeps to bite
Thinking about them close at night
With an anxious mind it’s hard to confide
The insecurity locked inside

Can’t commit to time or to lust
Defences are high in the aspect of trust
Testing to see who will try and return
Loneliness the only lesson to learn
Always looking for that one salvation
Who saves me from my false self-preservation.

Night Creepers

At night I crawl,
Spread out and creep,
Forever awake
Barely ever asleep

They are open
The pathways of my eyes,
But I’m not listening
It’s a familiar disguise

The panic is suppressed
And the mask starts to shake,
Again it’s exhausting
Forever awake

I don’t need understanding
I don’t need belief
What I need from my thinking
Is some truth and relief

It’s a lifelong phase
To live mentally ill
To you its invisible
To me it’s fucking real.

#depression #bipolar #writers #anxiety #suicide #ocd #beach #crying #mentalhealth #poetry #poems #writing #books #grunge #gothic #darkness #vampire #death #music #lyrics #film #addiction #addict #heaven #ill #illusion #isolation #virus #blue

Gremlins

Time never exchanges
Love for lost chances,
If anything it ridicules
By circling hope
In front of distant eyes,
The world shrinks
For a searching heart,
Spiderwebs bolts of emotions
That fizz out,
Only Returning to jolt pain
Of emotions lost,

The colour red
Flows internally,
Dripping with drops of regret
Like sweat off a peach
Or blood from an open wound,
One time anxiety ruled
And life was lost
To intrusive, irrational thoughts,
History will never die
Or repeat,
It will also burden the soul no more,
Our thoughts
Will just Rejoice in the experience,
Exist in peace,
And sit as a memory
Like an outline faded in smoke.

Intrusive

Intrusive —
Once writing this would’ve crippled me
I mean the thought of it would
The idea of tempting fate, Wow
Knowing now I can, and always could

Best to face the beast head on
No more living in the depths of life
No more invisibly leashed, being led on
No more stabbed with a thought provoked knife

Physical fights and words scare me
But mostly it’s my compulsive thoughts
Ninety nine percent mean nothing at all
But that’s the ones I fought

Now I can write the words, talk the talk
Push back false hope from my head
Still knowing it’s a fine line I walk
For now the darkness has been put to bed.

Wicked art

Sometimes I feel I don’t fucking belong
I mean, I could be wrong
But I need some kind of sign
To feel this is my time,
And I I don’t usually swear
But the restraints just not there
When you feel down on your luck
Sometimes You just have to say fuck

To write a sad limerick
Feels like a shit gimmick
But when the minds in the pit
Out comes the shit!
Just true honest words
I’m not sorry for the curse.

Im just a flawed genius
Just like all of us,
Wrestling with our soul
To climb out this shitty hole
To fuck all the hate
And Use that shit to create
Something cool that’s unique
That’s not up for critique
It’s not theres, its yours
There’s no fucking flaws
It represents you
Laid bare and all true.

There I’ve said all my shit
And my thoughts, so fuck it,
Because we’re in this together
I feel so much better
For now anyway
To the next fucking day
When my mind is at war
And I’ll swear so much more
Or perhaps produce a masterpiece
To put my mind at peace
Yeah That be great,
Dont procrastinate, or duplicate
Be like me and go fucking create,

Aftermath

Addiction seems so fruitful
Mountains of highs
Valleys of lows
We fight to-and-fro
Reaching for the sky to smile
But always end up drowning
Down below in the depths.

The aftermath of addiction
Drags down the soul
Swamps joy and hope
To the point of destruction,
Sleep becomes a distant distraction,
Sweat is the choice of panic
And crying the release for help.

The hole is deep
Dug by individual hand
Which carries the burden solely
The weight of the dirt,
Mountains are far out of sight
Especially as sinking begins
And normality shrinks.
Was peaking high
Worth the aftermath
And the massacre of feelings
That follows like a shadow
For eternity.