Bitter

I’m not bitter
But my soul has been bit
I bleed for the family
And drown out the shit,
The most critical of parent
Forced child from the house
He loved only himself
And his new spouse,
Factually the adult
Acts though the child
Forever the narcissist
A martyr ran wild,
Blood rains like water
Waters tainted with blood,
When the family tree grows
You’ll be buried in the mud.

Dear Papa

Tread upon my memory
Twist the past to suit
So now I dwell in silence
And cry for help in mute.

You cannot talk for dread
Of upsetting your life of now
A coward never thinks
Just nods his head and bows

Similar in physicality
Only way that we’re the same
When people ask about me
You stutter at my name.

Deny any blood relations
Making young generations cry
When they knock the door in decades
Will you look them in the eye.

No Love Lost

A child with sensitivity to feelings
Living with a parent with no emotion,
Is like drowning in the ocean,
Never dying.
The adult only walks the selfish direction
Widening the gap of bond and blood
Separating the connection
Between father and son,
Family home a safe haven turned toxic
By the golem who created his kingdom,
And his alone.
Willing freely to give you away,
Maybe bribe you with silver
To leave their place
So you burden them no more

Sowed the seed but not willing to feed
The emotionally hungry figure of youth,
Not because of behavioral actions
Or laziness tendencies on your part,
But through deviant selfishness
To thrive without ties of a child
Giving the responsibility of parent
To the world,
No wonder as an adolescent we feel abandoned,
Left stranded to survive
With no tools to speak of,
Its pointless to eventually seek blame
They hold no shame,
And learn nothing other to treat your babe,
Their legacy and grandchild,
The same.

Frozen Fruit

Takes a special kind of person
To turn their back on blood
A frozen shell that never breaks
Holding back the emotional flood

Would it spark a bit of love
If we all started to cry?
I feel that chapters been read
The words turning to a lie

You break a branch then climb
Damaging the family tree
Moving to a new orchard
Happy to be free

Never caring to look back
Even though you planted the seed
I guess I’ll never know
If your heart slowly bleeds

All Stand

We are all living
We are all dying
Ask for forgiving
When the soul is flying

We can all speak
We can all be silent
Tested at our peak
When the world is violent

We can all act
We are all still
We choose to react
To help at will

We can all love
We can all hate
Cleanse the fisted glove
Before it’s too late

We can all kiss
We can all shout
Think of the effect
When we open our mouth

We can all laugh
We can all cry
Leave no wrath
When you die

We can choose wrong
We can choose right
No one belongs
In a sense of fright

We can all be kind
We can all be mean
We can all be blind
To the horrors we see

We can all be quiet
We all have a voice
We all have a chance
To make the right choice

Life Force

Holding my hand onto the chest
grabbing at the beat,
closing my eyes
to place a palm face down to the ground,
I send to you a wave of comfort
vibrating to your soul,
Un-tying the mind
of loneliness and hunger,
I shall remain silent,
where I’m knelt,
Embracing the knowledge from the earth
that when your heart skips,
to a sound of warmth and compassion
my gift has been felt

Suicide

Trying to create awareness.

An honest account of my near suicide thoughts and experiences, along with dealing with intrusive thoughts of suicide, for a majority of my life.

Touching briefly on witnessing suicide first hand and the emotions that follow. A poem on suicide to finish. Permission has been sought and granted by any third parties mentioned.

 

https://www.thecalmzone.net/   – The website for C.A.L.M, The campaign against living miserably. They deal with people who are feeling suicidal and families of suicides. A really good charity for anyone looking for answers on this topic.