Avoid all, still not missed
Replays of friends who still exist
Thoughts cloudy of partners kissed
Many reunions, not on list
A ghost alive in this time
Head an alarm, heart a chime
Mortality clouds an open head
Life be easier without dread
Flashbacks penetrate, hard sharp funnel
Retreating briefly, a deafly tunnel

Boredom, no loneliness
Bordering mad, bordering mess
Panic rises, need more haste
Blood spilled, leaves bad taste
Cut on skin, scrape on mind
A bloody favour, being kind

Impulse brings clammy splatters
Wall, floor, neither matters
Ceramic sink tainted red
Shallow cùt, far from dead
Choice made, closer to life
Drop blade, clean stained knife
Fighting with each shallow breath
Retreat from the near bitter death

Admit faltering defeat, move shock to motion
Fallout with breaths, wash scars with rain
Expect the time that will define the future,
Of being able to face the mirror image again.

Short Game

Of course laws of attraction
Starts as you as a distraction
Not sure you’re a soul mate
Different days love and hate
Yes interested in names
No, not interested in games
Deep parts a need to know
Beautiful person, beautiful soul

Chemistry’s the right mix
One that works, one that clicks
Feel warmth inside each day
When bodies close, when far away
Not needy, not obsessive
There’s a time for being possessive
Space and time creates mystery
All have some kind of history

A calming force to help with sleep
Heavy heart when eyes weep
Honest and true if you could
break ups, only one understood
Speaks the truth until the end
elements of a life long friend.

Back Thought

Back Thought

From now on I will not judge myself,
Some people will judge me,
But I’m just a little lost inside and out,
Finding my own way,
Sometimes I act outside the norm,
In public I’m doing my best just to be there,
The first impression really worries me,
These thoughts make me anxious,
I predict bad things happening,
Usually my magical thinking never comes true,
Though spoken offence confirms my false reality,
What others do I can’t control,
I shouldn’t act as I feel others think,
This is my problem,
I feel a failure before I leave the house,
Need to learn not to always react,
And no longer will I Judge myself,
These are just intrusive thoughts,
In time my thinking will be clear

(Now read from bottom upwards)

It’s not worth wondering how your mind became to be this way. Its a unique magical entity but with a flaw.
A flaw can be changed, a learnt way unlearned, a messy head to a wondrous imagination.




Sky is blue, sea is green, we know this,
It’s always beautiful, don’t ask me how,
To appreciate this and beat Anxiety,
The secret is, to just allow

Just bring on the thoughts and feelings,
The common trap is to try and resist,
Good and bad thoughts are the same,
If you fight them, they will persist

Don’t try and question or ban your mind,
Punishing yourself with pain won’t succeed,
A thought is just a thought, that’s it,
Let it come, stay, while you proceed

Nothing is a hundred percent true and certain,
Try not to engage or question your being,
Living with a little anxiety won’t kill you,
Lift up your head, life’s all about seeing

Don’t ever feel bad to be happy,
It feels more natural to laugh than to cry,
Guilt is just a wasted emotion,
Give way to yourself and watch it fly,

Just a thought, a thought can’t change the world,
The minds not magic, there’s no anxiety spell,
To beat unwanted thoughts less is always more,
Just allow, and you will burst out of your shell.


This piece of work come to be when I thought maybe I should lighten the mood a little, but still keeping it real.
I try to keep away from preaching to people or giving advice as it’s not my place, but I try and mix my current mood with showing people what worked for me.

Allowing yourself to live, for me was step one. Why shouldn’t I be happy? Where does the guilt come from, just my mind and thoughts.

Trusting myself is a big part of making the right decisions. If it feels right do it, proceed, share your ideas to the world. Create instead of criticise, to others and to yourself.

Live and die with memories not just dreams.

If you like this one check out my previous poems.

Chris Chant.









Love in crazy

This poem was written on a beach where I was in a place of confusion. Just like being at the beach, it has beautiful scenery but my mind was in a state of mixed emotions and suffering with OCD.

Being in love for the first time but doubting if the feeling is real. Because the only true emotion I was feeling was anxiety and pain, I always doubted a lighter, happier feeling because it felt like a trick or another obsession as the way with my life. I didn’t trust or believe myself.

When I came round and realised maybe I should act on my emotions and when you begin a relationship it’s hard to keep it going, always looking over the shoulder waiting for the next doubt or attack or if they have figured out that I’m living on the edge of panic.
In the end the pattern that followed me was that I ended most relationships early before they ended with me, as I assumed they would.

So this poem is about having an anxious, mixed up mind and then the feeling of love thrown in and dealing with that.
Here it is Love in Crazy…

Love in Crazy

The heart rendered like a king
Tall, stout and impressive
Evaporating all like a sponge
Past, present, resoundingly obsessive

With each new wave the strings get taunt
Feeling loose, but always holds
A break can be repaired
Or just a myth, that’s been re-told

Eye connections are real
The soul gets mystified
One Love, one other heart to feel
No more can be justified

A timeless lone night lays deep
Coupling and souling a must
Or forever be left in eternal limbo
Heart and mind turning to dust

Running parallel, so very close
A touch sickly, like a vertigo ride
Hearing and speech become an echo
In and out, rhythm of the tide

Is this truth, or is it false?
Love and anguish, my mind they share
Working through, but by default
In both worlds, I have to bare.