Understand Me

Drowning in contempt
Sinking in a flood
Where the only saviour
Is to be just understood

As we voice our trouble
Others slowly nod in disguise
Where the reality truly shows
In the rolling of their eyes

Its feels such a wonder
When someone understands
I want to smile with them always
And hold them by the hand.

Fight to be positive
And fit your own glove
Or self will start to dwindle
Leaving no chance of love

We’ll reflect in thirty years
Of memories we’ve forgot
The laughter and the love
Before the brain started to rot

Speak of discontent
Faced with a simplistic hush
When replied with a toxic tone
The Soul starts to crush.

Don’t just want to be heard
I want to be understood together
And share a mutual binding
That brings love and hope forever.

Don’t look back

This work is starting to feel Jaded
Beginning to Feel like rambling
Enthusiasm has slowly faded
Write anything like I’m gambling

My mind confuses like a swarm
I Want to curl up in a cave
Light a fire to stay warm
Be cradled in the arms of babes

I feel I’ve been misread
That my heart is slightly tainted
Because my mind tells the story
Of the words my hand has painted

My verse became my heart
And inspiration made it dance
It wrote in complex forms of love
A tragic hooker of romance

My focus took a different path
Of an outlet or relief
For the guilt and shame I felt
Through times of mental grief

It took a sort of troubled shape
Transformed from light to dark
The reality is quite reversed
I’m a devoted romantic at heart.

Fun

You can’t beat friends in Childhood
Fun was safe, fun Was good
Playing out to near after dark
At the big or little park
Swinging on the Witches hat
Stood screaming or tightly sat
Never leaved early to go home
Even with cuts or broken bones
Can play while the streetlights are out
If not the the parents would shout
On the corners playing Forty forty
Only being slightly naughty
Climbing over neighbours fences
Lying flat behind their hedges
Laughing with heads spinning
Never cared whose was winning
Climbing up the sides
Of the deathly metal slide
Ripping trousers on the way down
Scream in pain and laugh aloud
Fun and near misses
Holding hands and secret kisses
Swinging high by our feet
Jumping off, falling on concrete
The most Popular of course
The old faithful rocking horse
Holding on with white knuckles
Before the rails breaks and buckles
The Older kids acting cool
The rubbish bin was always full
Take me back to the grass
Where friends were the best class
We used to play, used to live
Sometimes fought but always forgive
It’s a shame that youth had to end
But you never forgive your childhood friends

Set Free

Save myself by creating heartbreak
Ending affection for ending sake
Not personal, a quick draw decision
Wouldn’t of lasted, said my premonition
Of a close soul breaking my heart
To escape I quickly force it apart
Convinced my dark vision is true
Before it’s me I’ll end it with you
Romance is dead but the pain lives
Couldn’t control the doubt love gives,
living life with stop and starts
Short lived dates and broken hearts

The one set loose will find a match
To with feelings, there is no catch
No pits of empty days or sorrow
No happy one day, down tomorrow
By then the jealously creeps to bite
Thinking about them close at night
With an anxious mind it’s hard to confide
The insecurity locked inside

Can’t commit to time or to lust
Defences are high in the aspect of trust
Testing to see who will try and return
Loneliness the only lesson to learn
Always looking for that one salvation
Who saves me from my false self-preservation.

And repeat..

… I cannot sleep,
I over think,
My mind switches on
Tunes in
To endless channels
Of riddles and junk.
I’m not the only one
Just one of many,
Who wake in the dark
Sleep never,
And lyes thinking up myths
Instead of staring at truths.
I hear nothing
And hear all,
Seeing shapes and shadows,
Forming stories
That won’t exist forever.
I’ll sleep tomorrow night
It’ll be different then,
And if I can’t,
I shall speak with you again.

Belief

We need to smooth the ride
For People that shouldn’t have died,
A spiritual involvement perhaps?
Before a person’s mind will collapse,
Every day, it happens every day
Vibrant lifes are taken away,
Just one, one other to understand
So life not extinguished by own hand.

For no man

When’s there’s no immediate danger
Worry people worry about time,
Haunted by the past and future
By a spectre of the present,
In the now, time doesn’t exist
Until you ask its whereabouts
And trace its movements,
Once spotted it’s hidden
Amongst the angst and worry,
And then just like that it’s gone,

Is half a second
Worth the fret of not living,
To die waiting
For the next half second
To be fruitful,
Until finally it mounts up
To a lifetime of looking back,
Regrets,
And just death to look forward to.

Toleration

Toleration

‘Not more words from prophet of doom
Where does this soul find the room?’
-‘Its true I write the bad I’ve felt
Dark places I’ve been, edges I’ve knelt
-‘Inside their head those words of pain
What do they ever hope to gain?’
-‘An outlet I use, a voice to spread
Of all the things I wished I said’
-‘I bet they always need help and reliance
Bringing people down with their awkward silence’
-‘I feel the tensions, sense the sound
Its harder sometimes when I’m around’
-We’ve all had issue’s, we just don’t tell
Why do they have to sulk and dwell’
-‘I’m affected worse it’s my mind you see
Stick around I’m actually quite funny’
-‘Truth is I don’t understand or relate
Surely writing this will seal their fate’
-‘I want to feel joy and that’s the key
Depressions easy to feel but harder to see’
-‘Just carry on, life’s way too short
We all suffer, just don’t give it a thought’
-‘I suffer alone, head in my hand
The reasons why I don’t understand’

Black and white

I must,
I must, Improve my trust,
But man ruins man,
By refusing to hold hands,
With another
Who has a diversity of skin.

Integrated beliefs
Passed on intentionally,
Bring torture and grief,
To the next generation
Where death,
Becomes no longer a sensation,

We must act and voice,
Our emotions on racism,
Not be anonymous,
Or use shielding and ignorance,
As a duty escapism.

Let the world know what you think,
Not in blood, but in ink.

Why is the true meaning of innocence, dead?
And white flames keep fuelling
The fires of blind hatred

We voice loud, without anymore loss or high cost,
To help form a blanket
Of smother,
Before another child, and soul is lost,
And taken immorally, from their mother.

Lay Me Down

A silent hymn swarms the senses
Sensations charged, bloods too swift
Memory poisoned, weary of pretences
With each sharp point a full body lift.

Awake fever cold, lips texture of slate
Rejects visual help, deny the sound
Bruises new, a pure circular shape
Flakiness of skin, ankles once bound

Real or a film of fiction
Inspect body, stifle a scream
Escape attempts creates harm friction
Lesions made, stain skin at the seam.

Dream of scenarios, body cuffed tight
Butterfly effect, wings have swung
A nightmare which overlaps the night
Sour taste to mouth, intrusion in lung

Cloaked a stranger, calls a name
Intimate outlines with empty stares
Swear words alluded through shame
Convulsing body pulls skin to tear.

Melt through sheets as sweat gives way
Escape plan hatched, float through floors
Arms stretched out to slink away
Reality bites down, home to four walls

Travel shift to outside ward
Undeniably a dream to recognise
A body concealed from open doors
Head slips to reveal the disguise.

Alive in bed or dead where I stand
A premonition gift, given to hear
Trust not to cry off a helping hand
An awakening lust, the minds clear

Fear defends the external choice
Bittersweet to white flag this race
For now someone else speaks my voice
Though the ceiling still reflects my face.

Chest tight by weight of heaving
Already howled the meltdown song
Truth hits quiet, no prizes for leaving
To dampen my mind, this is where I belong.