Set Free

Save myself by creating heartbreak
Ending affection for ending sake
Not personal, a quick draw decision
Wouldn’t of lasted, said my premonition
Of a close soul breaking my heart
To escape I quickly force it apart
Convinced my dark vision is true
Before it’s me I’ll end it with you
Romance is dead but the pain lives
Couldn’t control the doubt love gives,
living life with stop and starts
Short lived dates and broken hearts

The one set loose will find a match
To with feelings, there is no catch
No pits of empty days or sorrow
No happy one day, down tomorrow
By then the jealously creeps to bite
Thinking about them close at night
With an anxious mind it’s hard to confide
The insecurity locked inside

Can’t commit to time or to lust
Defences are high in the aspect of trust
Testing to see who will try and return
Loneliness the only lesson to learn
Always looking for that one salvation
Who saves me from my false self-preservation.

And repeat..

… I cannot sleep,
I over think,
My mind switches on
Tunes in
To endless channels
Of riddles and junk.
I’m not the only one
Just one of many,
Who wake in the dark
Sleep never,
And lyes thinking up myths
Instead of staring at truths.
I hear nothing
And hear all,
Seeing shapes and shadows,
Forming stories
That won’t exist forever.
I’ll sleep tomorrow night
It’ll be different then,
And if I can’t,
I shall speak with you again.

Belief

We need to smooth the ride
For People that shouldn’t have died,
A spiritual involvement perhaps?
Before a person’s mind will collapse,
Every day, it happens every day
Vibrant lifes are taken away,
Just one, one other to understand
So life not extinguished by own hand.

For no man

When’s there’s no immediate danger
Worry people worry about time,
Haunted by the past and future
By a spectre of the present,
In the now, time doesn’t exist
Until you ask its whereabouts
And trace its movements,
Once spotted it’s hidden
Amongst the angst and worry,
And then just like that it’s gone,

Is half a second
Worth the fret of not living,
To die waiting
For the next half second
To be fruitful,
Until finally it mounts up
To a lifetime of looking back,
Regrets,
And just death to look forward to.

Toleration

Toleration

‘Not more words from prophet of doom
Where does this soul find the room?’
-‘Its true I write the bad I’ve felt
Dark places I’ve been, edges I’ve knelt
-‘Inside their head those words of pain
What do they ever hope to gain?’
-‘An outlet I use, a voice to spread
Of all the things I wished I said’
-‘I bet they always need help and reliance
Bringing people down with their awkward silence’
-‘I feel the tensions, sense the sound
Its harder sometimes when I’m around’
-We’ve all had issue’s, we just don’t tell
Why do they have to sulk and dwell’
-‘I’m affected worse it’s my mind you see
Stick around I’m actually quite funny’
-‘Truth is I don’t understand or relate
Surely writing this will seal their fate’
-‘I want to feel joy and that’s the key
Depressions easy to feel but harder to see’
-‘Just carry on, life’s way too short
We all suffer, just don’t give it a thought’
-‘I suffer alone, head in my hand
The reasons why I don’t understand’

Black and white

I must,
I must, Improve my trust,
But man ruins man,
By refusing to hold hands,
With another
Who has a diversity of skin.

Integrated beliefs
Passed on intentionally,
Bring torture and grief,
To the next generation
Where death,
Becomes no longer a sensation,

We must act and voice,
Our emotions on racism,
Not be anonymous,
Or use shielding and ignorance,
As a duty escapism.

Let the world know what you think,
Not in blood, but in ink.

Why is the true meaning of innocence, dead?
And white flames keep fuelling
The fires of blind hatred

We voice loud, without anymore loss or high cost,
To help form a blanket
Of smother,
Before another child, and soul is lost,
And taken immorally, from their mother.

Lay Me Down

A silent hymn swarms the senses
Sensations charged, bloods too swift
Memory poisoned, weary of pretences
With each sharp point a full body lift.

Awake fever cold, lips texture of slate
Rejects visual help, deny the sound
Bruises new, a pure circular shape
Flakiness of skin, ankles once bound

Real or a film of fiction
Inspect body, stifle a scream
Escape attempts creates harm friction
Lesions made, stain skin at the seam.

Dream of scenarios, body cuffed tight
Butterfly effect, wings have swung
A nightmare which overlaps the night
Sour taste to mouth, intrusion in lung

Cloaked a stranger, calls a name
Intimate outlines with empty stares
Swear words alluded through shame
Convulsing body pulls skin to tear.

Melt through sheets as sweat gives way
Escape plan hatched, float through floors
Arms stretched out to slink away
Reality bites down, home to four walls

Travel shift to outside ward
Undeniably a dream to recognise
A body concealed from open doors
Head slips to reveal the disguise.

Alive in bed or dead where I stand
A premonition gift, given to hear
Trust not to cry off a helping hand
An awakening lust, the minds clear

Fear defends the external choice
Bittersweet to white flag this race
For now someone else speaks my voice
Though the ceiling still reflects my face.

Chest tight by weight of heaving
Already howled the meltdown song
Truth hits quiet, no prizes for leaving
To dampen my mind, this is where I belong.

No Love Lost

A child with sensitivity to feelings
Living with a parent with no emotion,
Is like drowning in the ocean,
Never dying.
The adult only walks the selfish direction
Widening the gap of bond and blood
Separating the connection
Between father and son,
Family home a safe haven turned toxic
By the golem who created his kingdom,
And his alone.
Willing freely to give you away,
Maybe bribe you with silver
To leave their place
So you burden them no more

Sowed the seed but not willing to feed
The emotionally hungry figure of youth,
Not because of behavioral actions
Or laziness tendencies on your part,
But through deviant selfishness
To thrive without ties of a child
Giving the responsibility of parent
To the world,
No wonder as an adolescent we feel abandoned,
Left stranded to survive
With no tools to speak of,
Its pointless to eventually seek blame
They hold no shame,
And learn nothing other to treat your babe,
Their legacy and grandchild,
The same.

The Looking Glass

‘Any thought can be tolerated, even this one’,
Becomes an obsessional loop,
A contradictory statement on repeat
That works to ease tension
And stop the mind from back flowing.

Insurance and affirmation it’s not a lie
Breathes from within.
The warmth and contentment cant be faked,
So belief becomes the norm,
And fear a fractured shadow.

Our own mind a nemesis
A fact created from evolutionary frailties
Or a sick trick from ones creator?.
To question is to fall back to the trap.
Accept the fractured imperfections
Of the conscious mind,
The dark humour mixed with reality,
And live with glory of imagination,
The power to create expressivly
And freedom to do so.

Once we let go of ourselves
Control is restored,
Balance becomes silent,
And Living becomes unnoticed.

Cry

When you go to sleep
I shall weep

In private, tears will fall
Requiring help, I won’t call

Cries drown my pillow
From days of sorrow

Always a restless hour
With thoughts turning sour

Awake in a personal hell
Mind is my prison cell

Cut me open, make it swift
Bleed me empty, as a gift

Blood shall be my last weep
Peace now, forever sleep.