Body language

I think I’m alone
Even when gathered in a herd
I’m afraid my spirit has flown
I never hear a word

Even though I speak
My voice doesn’t leave
And the cries for help
Evaporate when I breathe

I crave for any attention
A positive or negative poke
Just someone to react
To pretend as if I spoke

Not looking for a fake smile
Or for a touch of a hand
Just a genuine shoulder
I hope you understand.

Purgatory

Light to dark
I will wait
Until I hear you hark
And seal my fate

Confines the shadow
Expresses the grin
Hides the halo
And the demon within

Once I was good
Turned white into black
I know that I should
But I’ll never go back.

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Notebook

I have writers block
It happens time to time
Its makes me watch the clock
And stress of a new rhyme

My mind becomes obsessive
Causing a lot of friction
I have to take steps back
Or it leads to an addiction

I write a hidden meaning
In every single word
But my verses make no sense
And the message becomes blurred

I try too hard to produce
A written piece of magic
Starting with upbeat
And ending with something tragic

Then I remembered my motives
I write only to find peace
A way to sort my thoughts
A chance for me to release

Without words I surpress
And it leaves me with no fight
So I continue to express
My emotions as I write

Intrusive

Intrusive —
Once writing this would’ve crippled me
I mean the thought of it would
The idea of tempting fate, Wow
Knowing now I can, and always could

Best to face the beast head on
No more living in the depths of life
No more invisibly leashed, being led on
No more stabbed with a thought provoked knife

Physical fights and words scare me
But mostly it’s my compulsive thoughts
Ninety nine percent mean nothing at all
But that’s the ones I fought

Now I can write the words, talk the talk
Push back false hope from my head
Still knowing it’s a fine line I walk
For now the darkness has been put to bed.

Aftermath

Addiction seems so fruitful
Mountains of highs
Valleys of lows
We fight to-and-fro
Reaching for the sky to smile
But always end up drowning
Down below in the depths.

The aftermath of addiction
Drags down the soul
Swamps joy and hope
To the point of destruction,
Sleep becomes a distant distraction,
Sweat is the choice of panic
And crying the release for help.

The hole is deep
Dug by individual hand
Which carries the burden solely
The weight of the dirt,
Mountains are far out of sight
Especially as sinking begins
And normality shrinks.
Was peaking high
Worth the aftermath
And the massacre of feelings
That follows like a shadow
For eternity.

Burn

We have to unlearn
To be a Burden,
Release the frustrated
Of feeling hated.
We try and we try
To live and not die,
But it’s so hard
To kick start
The energy and will
To swallow the pill
To be able to see straight
And let go of the hate.

I look in the reflection
And see no direction,
Just roads of chaos
Leading to being lost.
I know, and I feel
One day I will heal
Until then I shall not hide
And Choose to stay inside
Where comfort lies in place
And I never show my face.

I will go forth to live
Allow myself to forgive
All the invisible thoughts
That cut my life short,
Yes I shall stand
Drop the knife from hand
Pull up out of the bath
Smile and laugh,
You know I could
In fact I know I should,
If only I wasnt dead
And the water wasnt red,
And my thoughts wasnt fate
Telling me im too late,
I never learn
Im still a burden
My family will find me
Open the door and see
My body, or what’s left,
See I’m still out of place, even in death.

Free

We bleed because we need too. Release our thoughts, tensions and anxieties to the world, to resolve and find some balance.
Whose knows the answer to an unhappy species, which inhales the toxic spouting of leaders through open straws of lies.
Virus spreads but manipulation and greed stand immortal and immune to human suffering. In fact it thrives to the extent of watching the vermin argue amongst themselves, defending honours of deviants and dammed.
I find peace in knowing deep inside that my conscience is clear, my mind is open, and silence is an option to stupidity.

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Antidote

Run run run away
The thread is wearing thin
Escape escape escape this place
No one knows where you’ve been

Flee flee flee this cave
Don’t know what you might find
Help help help yourself
Take possession of your mind

Change change change direction
Squeeze the blood out From your hand
Free free free the poison
Maybe now you’ll understand