This poem is featured in the Poetry book – Encryption of the Mind.
Which is now available to buy or download from Amazon and other good bookstores or
You may think these words are heavy
It’s hard not to be with mental illness
Most would of stopped reading by now
Some stayed just to be curious
Maybe you stayed because you can relate,
To how it felt and how it affected you
The Love, fear, happiness and hate
We’re constantly have, and are going through
Those first two verses were written when really low,
God, reading it brings me down
But only to a level of understanding
All part of turning your life around
Well, you got this far, and not by chance
Seen off the mysterious voices
Freedom is a wonderful thing
Being able to make life choices
A lot of life has been wasted
Solving an impossible puzzle
Time to look past, look forward
Take off that emotional muzzle
I don’t want to end this like I’m preaching,
But theres one thing I’ve identified,
If you do relate, then you’re a kind, loyal,
Beautiful, passionate, creative, ambitious and caring person…
… Don’t hide!
Reaching out to a gift
So high the guardians sit on clouds,
A emerald sky emanating so much light
Even the kings are forced to bow.
Emotions hallucinate with such glory
Celebrate and dance with relief,
Grief has been their prisoner for so long
Torturing the emptiness of belief.
Life is first only to choice
Freedom conquering death,
Eyes forced to view in perspective
The lost souls, our loss would of left.
It’s not for us equals to judge
How connected ties choose to live,
Selfish minds will always act to survive
All we can do is forgive.
Use the hashtag #achoicetovoice
Choose to climb
and escape the stone walls
that close in
like a dampening breath to the neck,
The goosebumps are real
coldness can’t be faked
neither can the dread which creeps from below,
Move or perish
from the hesitant pause
that captures indecisive minds
freezing the will to submission.
Or leave it to fate,
Let go and fall in to emptiness
become weightless in body and mind,
Float down star shaped
with eyes unable to close
as you look upward bidding farewell
part of the punishment of surrendering to hell,
Light dissolves in seconds
free falling in to darkness
to an eternal expanse.
Deviant whispers from nowhere
keep you from sleep
A choice to make,
Fall and drown forever as a prisoner
or climb and fight.
Laughing in the success of failure
Somehow I knew you hated me
Judged by external blemishes
And short minded deviants
Who only see, what they want to see
Believe the fragile foundations
Where truth sits balanced
Where a lie weighs down the world
Collapsing the final ounce of confidence
Society now accepts
Colourful to admire
Quiet as strange Loud as a superstar
Normal as estranged
No wonder personalities dance for eternity, Without falling into place
As the selfish run the asylum Not allowing room for a diverse face
Our bones are the substance
The soul radiates lifes powers
Whatever age we’re taken
We will all lye down with flowers.
Sharing my head with an additional voice
A vigilant double skilfully taking over
Pushing me out to elevate it’s own purpose,
I surrender admitting my failure
Of surviving life and existence
I sense ‘It’ clouding each decision
Questioning my clarity,
I’m happy to pass over this burden
Of hell eclipsed in my mind,
Here take me my dark twin
And thrive in this shell!
When at peace you were benign
At war you became malignant,
Displaying me as diseased
Dropping blood in my tears
I finally fall out of power
Succumbing to the invasion of life,
You win, feel free to dance in my skin
Smile in to the mirror
Touch your recent corporal self
Now I’m the reflection
Buried deep still feeling the emotions
That you chose to suppress,
Unable to die or sleep
Dead though immortal
My slights of anxiety
Now surpassed by your confidence
And sociopathic ways of living,
A shadow of consciousness remains
Trapped in torment, looking up, looking out
A realisation I have undertaken a greatest sin
Shelving responsibility to a misconception,
Seduced by demons or demon
The dark side of my brain,
A mistake too final to comprehend
As long as my visual double still breathes
I shall suffer
Forever awake and forever aware
That my soul, I wasn’t meant to share
Even in the background you can shine
Give it time…
Be the late flower
Who arrives on the hour
Whichever way round I end up when I pass, it won’t last
Even in death I won’t find the right path
Mind pulling up and then channelling down
When I’m lost do I even make a sound?
Limbo is my forevermore, bleak is my host
Life or death, in people’s eyes, I’m just a ghost.
Yes I believe life is worth living. I believe we should focus on the positive and not the negative.
We should embrace life as the gift it is. A miracle it was to be chosen, to be given a chance to make an impression on others and leave a silent legacy through society.
Lucky to be alive through complicated circumstances which ended with your making of personality and awareness. I believe im lucky and I want to live that way.
It’s just some of us are born with a discrepancy of the mind. A shadow that sweeps over the light of life. Takes away joy and leaves ‘what if’.
It feels like living on egg shells. That any moment I could break and fall. At the end of each day I am thankful for surviving. It’s just how I’m built.
Yes I can be depressing but that’s because I’m sometimes depressed. Even though I feel like this I still want to help others in any way I can. This is what calms my doubts and fuels my soul.