Angry

I’m not angry, obviously
Just frustrated with whatever
But People can surprise you
I’m waiting to be surprised,
Why only speak to criticise
And have deaf ears for response
Walking away thinking you’ve won
As always,
But unhappiness creeps into guilt
And nastiness becomes as visible
As a shroud
Making isolation the only end
To a dismal finish,
Is fear of communication cowardly
When it leads to downfall of others
In a herded environment,
Or is it a smart self preservation
Where silence means survival,
I rather speak a sensible tone
And seek out the truth of a lost soul in front of me,
Are they acting differently
To their true self,
Only honestly, verbal action
And rebellion against a generation hex
Can set you free.

Don’t look back

This work is starting to feel Jaded
Beginning to Feel like rambling
Enthusiasm has slowly faded
Write anything like I’m gambling

My mind confuses like a swarm
I Want to curl up in a cave
Light a fire to stay warm
Be cradled in the arms of babes

I feel I’ve been misread
That my heart is slightly tainted
Because my mind tells the story
Of the words my hand has painted

My verse became my heart
And inspiration made it dance
It wrote in complex forms of love
A tragic hooker of romance

My focus took a different path
Of an outlet or relief
For the guilt and shame I felt
Through times of mental grief

It took a sort of troubled shape
Transformed from light to dark
The reality is quite reversed
I’m a devoted romantic at heart.

Get Back

Look forward
As the past will haunt you
If you turn around
The shadows will taunt you

Dont surrender
The Devil will flaunt you
Dont believe
That noone will want you

If you were a ghost
People would see through
Your unique personality
Cold would be the only clue

Live with acceptance
Any thought can be tolerated
Step out of the dark
Life is underrated

Purgatory

Light to dark
I will wait
Until I hear you hark
And seal my fate

Confines the shadow
Expresses the grin
Hides the halo
And the demon within

Once I was good
Turned white into black
I know that I should
But I’ll never go back.

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Notebook

I have writers block
It happens time to time
Its makes me watch the clock
And stress of a new rhyme

My mind becomes obsessive
Causing a lot of friction
I have to take steps back
Or it leads to an addiction

I write a hidden meaning
In every single word
But my verses make no sense
And the message becomes blurred

I try too hard to produce
A written piece of magic
Starting with upbeat
And ending with something tragic

Then I remembered my motives
I write only to find peace
A way to sort my thoughts
A chance for me to release

Without words I surpress
And it leaves me with no fight
So I continue to express
My emotions as I write

Some Disorder

Take a moment
To catch a breath
Its complicated to imagine
The thoughts swirling in-depth

To normal, the lines are straight
For others mind is twisted
Most eyes see clean and clear
But in darkness sight is squinted

Sit straight as the tale is tall and true
And receivers do feel manipulated
For belief these disorders are real
Makes for uncomfortable and complicated

Concentration shuts off
The expression turns blank
No effort to understand
The eyes have rolled and sank

The Stories are true
No need for exaggeration
Many souls are lost
To their own imagination

Breakdown

We take a Calculated risk to open up
The eyes of our soul,
A window that cannot be closed
Or true reflections fabricated,
Each colour and thought
Between you and I
Varies in content
And meaning,
But we thrive to live
In this trapped consciousness
Of Tangled webs,
Entwined blind and twisted
In body and soul
In a chamber of darkness
Reminiscent of a demon concoction
Enduring endless deep emotions
At every turn,
We feel vindicated
That this voyage is just our journey
Not a journey of billions,
For this we feel guilt
Though we should not
As it’s a wasted expelling of energy
To comprehend
Where there is no answer,
I beg whoever
To close the portal of dark imagination,
Shut off the vivid dreams
That haunt our minds
And control the strings
Of daily torment.

Belief

We need to smooth the ride
For People that shouldn’t have died,
A spiritual involvement perhaps?
Before a person’s mind will collapse,
Every day, it happens every day
Vibrant lifes are taken away,
Just one, one other to understand
So life not extinguished by own hand.

Back to Life

What if I died
And this is all a dream,
The accident was fatal
And my mind is teasing the news To my subconscious
Of the reality of my death,
An amputation to signal a loss,
Losing two fingers
telling the mind I’m slowly dying,
Disappearing away
Bit by bit
Piece by piece,

What if I died
In that instant of terror,
Snapping my head in to limbo,
Bringing an illusion of survival
An alternate version of events
Where I still live, for awhile at least,

Now I have detected, and felt
This true reality,
Am I ready?
Ready for the darkness,
Or whatever awaits me,
If anything,
Ready to leave this eighteen month fairytale
Written in my mind,
Is it better to fake a life in ignorance,
Live in a dream state,
Interact as normal
Or just realise my fate?

It’s out of my hands
I must sleep, but will I ever wake again?
And if I awaken the next morning
Will the feeling still hang over me,
That whatever path I follow,
I’m living on borrowed time.